There was a moment last night, when you started lip syncing and dancing like an idiot so I would stop crying about my dad, that I realized that not being able to kiss you was not only an unfortunate reality, but it was physically hurting my lips to not reach up and connect my face to yours.
"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….
First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”
But here is what I think you should know.
You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.
You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.
You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).
You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.
In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.
In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”
I found out my dad died…
Right now it looks like he might have just drank himself to death, we don’t know… I think I’m still in denial, mostly I’m unsure what to do.
A lot of my anxiety revolves around me not understanding some social cues and worrying I’m not reacting or feeling how I’m “supposed to.”
I just wish there was a sort of procedural protocol book I could look at to tell me how to feel/react to this. Like I know this should be a really huge deal… I should be crying, right? Is this something you post on facebook? Should I delay my move to my college apartment? I’m his only kid… am I going to have to plan a funeral at 19? I’ve never even been to a funeral… Is it bad I didn’t cancel my plans with a friend tomorrow?
I don’t think I’m heartless or that this is the calm before the storm… I just think… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what normal people do in this situation…